


No Estás Muerto, No Estoy Muerto

by SunniAlien



Series: Name a time and place, we'll be fine [1]
Category: On My Block (TV)
Genre: (I didn't realize how emotionally all over the place this was until I started tagging), (mostly), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Epilogue Compliant, Not Timeskip Compliant, Post-Season/Series 03, Pre-Relationship, Ruby finds out Oscar's still alive, Season 3 Finale, brief attempt at humor, can be read as purely platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:49:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26064520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunniAlien/pseuds/SunniAlien
Summary: Ruby comes home from a day in the woods and finds Oscar in his bathroom
Relationships: Oscar "Spooky" Diaz & Ruby Martinez, Oscar "Spooky" Diaz/Ruby Martinez
Series: Name a time and place, we'll be fine [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1896709
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	No Estás Muerto, No Estoy Muerto

**Author's Note:**

> Spanish translations and conversions to metric at the bottom!
> 
> This picks up at about 13.50 during the finale, when the core four are at Monse's and Ruby & Jamal decide to leave, and stays with canon until ca 14.30, right as Ruby arrives home.

Ruby leaves Monse’s house without looking back. The walk home is short, and passes before he knows it. As he’s about to round the hedge and head up to the door his eyes catch on Olivia’s picture. It’s still hanging there on their fence, all these months later.  
_‘I was willing to kill someone today.’_ He thinks. _‘To become a part of the same violence that took her life.’_ He’s too tired to even fully explore the thought. His mind goes to Jasmine as he glances up. He knows he hurt her today. If he explained, he could probably get her to forgive him. But he can’t bring himself to go to her. He doesn’t want her to look at him with those big eyes. Doesn’t want to talk to her. It’s almost weird to admit it, but Jasmine is probably one of the people who know him best. Knew him best. He doesn’t think she knows him anymore. He’d been willing to kill someone. To commit a murder. He’s not the same person he was when he woke up. He doesn’t want to look at her and see the old version of himself reflected back in her eyes. It hurts too much when he knows that version is dead. And Jasmine is strong. He knows she’ll be okay without him. He turns away, and heads to the door instead.

-

The light is still on in the kitchen, but everything is quiet. It’s late. His parents and the twins should be asleep by now, and there’s no light coming out from under their doors. There’s a part of Ruby that wants to fall into bed and sleep for a thousand years, but another part of him is scared to close his eyes. So much has happened, and they still don’t know where Oscar is, or if he’s even alive. His face pops into Ruby’s mind and floats in front of his eyes. The thought of Oscar dead… Ruby’s not sure why it should upset him so much, but it does. Maybe because Oscar always seemed so invincible. He had so much power, was so strong. Even strong enough to keep others safe. Or at least try. Ruby thinks he understands that better, now. The lengths Oscar went to in order to protect people. The price he’s had to pay. And if Oscar is gone, if someone could kill Oscar just like that… How will any of them ever be safe again? And who will be next? _How many_ will be next?

Ruby tries to shake the thoughts from his mind. He knows they won’t do him any good right now. He heads to the bathroom to wash up, instead. He feels dirty after walking in the woods all day. He’s desperate for a hot shower, but at the same time, he doesn’t wanna wake anyone up. Doesn’t want their questions. Doesn’t wanna have to lie to them. He opens the door-

-

He opens the door about a foot and a half, and there’s Oscar. Wearing his shorts and a black tank top, leaning over the sink and looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. Ruby freezes. Oscar turns his head at the sound of the door opening and looks at Ruby, who’s just standing there, hand still on the door handle, mouth slightly agape. Oscar raises an eyebrow at him.  
«I- …We thought you were dead!» Ruby finally manages to push out. He’s not quite sure yet whether what he’s seeing is even real. He takes a small step further into the room «You’re not dead?»  
Oscar straightens up and gives a little laugh.  
«Nah li’l homie, I’m not dead.» he says, turning his body fully towards Ruby, leaning his hip on the sink. Ruby doesn’t know what to say. He just stands there looking at Oscar. He feels like his brain isn’t working properly. The only thing he can think is, _‘He’s not dead. He’s not dead. He’s not dead.’_

He must stand there a while, because eventually Oscar moves to go past him, to leave. Ruby doesn’t know what takes hold of him, but as Oscar brushes against him he reaches out, blocks him with an arm, hand grabbing Oscars top. Oscar takes hold of his arm, tugs to pull him off, but Ruby just holds on tighter, refusing to let go. Oscar turns to face him. He stops trying to pull Ruby off. Instead, he places his right hand on Ruby’s shoulder, giving him a gentle nudge backwards as if to get a better look at him. Ruby resists that too. Refuses to look Oscar in the face. He doesn’t know how to. Instead he places his other hand on Oscar’s chest, and pushes in closer. 

Something about the touch, something about being able to feel Oscar’s breaths under his hand finally makes Ruby believe it.  
«No estás muerto.» he says.

And then he falls into Oscar’s chest and starts to cry. After a second, Oscar’s arms come up around him, and Ruby could’ve never expected how _good_ that would feel, but it feels _so. very. good._ Oscar’s arms are strong, and they hold him tightly. He’s so big Ruby feels like he’s surrounded by nothing but Oscar. One arm is enough to cover his entire back, hand coming all the way up to his shoulder. The other layered over top, ending in fingers gently combing through Ruby’s hair, and a big palm pressing the back of his head into the chest in front of him, where he can listen to Oscar’s heartbeat.  
«No estoy muerto.» is spoken gently into the top of his head.

-

Ruby falls apart in Oscar’s arms and Oscar holds him. The tears turn into big wracking sobs as everything that’s happened hits Ruby like a wave. He hadn’t realized, until it’d finally been lifted, just how much this particular weight had been pressing on him. The fear that he would never get to see Oscar again. Now that it’s gone, there’s finally room in Ruby for all of the other things that’ve happened. Pressed into Oscar’s chest he feels fully safe for the first time in months. There’s no threat hanging over him. No task to be done. No distractions, just emotions he’s been bottling up longer than he’d even realized. The relief, the fear, the confusion, the anger, it all hits him at the same time. There’s too many feelings to separate, they all just turn in to one big mess of a thing that overwhelms him and pushes it’s way out of his body, again, and again, and again.

-

Ruby’s not sure how long they stand like that for, but eventually his body gets tired. The tears are still coming, but there’s not enough energy left for the sobs. He starts feeling like he can draw proper breaths again. There are actual thoughts in his brain. The strangeness of the situation finally registers. Any other day he’s sure he’d feel embarrassed, but as it is he’s too tired. He becomes more aware of Oscars hands on him. They slide as Ruby carefully starts to pull back. One comes down to his waist, the other to his shoulder, between them. They’re gentle, and still holding him, even though there’s a few inches between them now. Ruby’s still looking down, but his hands move too, sliding upwards as he pushes himself further back.

Suddenly Oscar inhales sharply, hisses. Ruby can’t describe the sound as anything but sobering. Everything that had felt so overwhelming just a few, short moments ago is completely forgotten within a second. That sounded like pain.

He pulls back, eyes frantically searching for an injury. _‘Is Oscar hurt?’_  
«Hurt? Are you hurt?» he asks, mouth continuing the question in his mind as his hands reach out to grip Oscar’s shoulders, looking for reassurance.  
«Oh my god, you’re hurt!» he says, as he finally spots the two big gashes on Oscars neck. He can’t believe he missed them. They’re right above where his hand had just been, and-  
«Did I hurt you?» he rambles on, as he realizes he must’ve pulled on the skin.  
«Ruben. Calm down.» Oscar says firmly, grabbing Ruby’s elbows, steadying him and making him listen. «You didn’t hurt me. And I’m gonna be fine.»  
As their eyes lock Ruby feels like he can believe it. He draws in a breath, just starting to come down from his mini panic and-  
«It’s just a scratch»  
Ruby’s eyes go to the big gashes on Oscars neck and then back up to his face.  
«Just a scratch?» Ruby can barely believe this idiot. «Just a scratch? Why isn’t it covered!? If that shit gets infected you could die! Didn’t you ever watch game of thrones?» Oscar raises his eyebrow at that, so Ruby continues.  
«The whole reason Khal Drogo died was because of a stupid scratch that got infected.» Oscar looks unimpressed. «What, game of thrones not good enough for you? I’ll admit, the latter seasons haven’t quite held up to the high standards of the earlier ones, but I still have confidence they’ll pull it together for the ending. But that’s beside the point! The point is, that shit needs to be covered!»  
«You’re wrong.»  
«Wrong!? I’m not wrong! You _need_ to-»  
«You’re wrong. Khal Drogo didn’t die because his cut got infected. He died because Dany sold their son to a crazy witch who turned her husband into a vegetable. Then she had to smother him. But if she’d just stayed out of it from the beginning, instead of insisting he get help, everything would’ve been fine and Jason Momoa would probably still be on the show.»  
Ruby can do nothing but blink.  
«What?» Oscar asks after a few moments of silence.  
«Nothing.» Ruby replies. Oscar is usually a man of few words, and Ruby doesn’t think he’s heard him say that much in years. He’s also realizing he knows very little about Oscar, and maybe he’d like to know more.  
«You’ve made your point. Except I’m not an evil witch intent on taking your soul, and without a bandage you’ll get an infection. So sit down and let me help you.» Ruby says, gesticulating towards the edge of the tub. Magically, Oscar obliges.

Ruby gets a wad of cotton from the cabinet over the sink, and wets it with the antiseptic already sitting beside him. He gently starts dabbing it against the top cut, switching it out with a clean one after a while. His mind drift as he stands between Oscar’s legs, methodically cleaning the two cuts. Knowing that Oscar watches game of thrones is… a little bit weird. It makes something weird flutter around inside him. The thought,  
_‘We have something in common,’_ pops into his head, and isn’t _that_ weird? That the two of them have this mundane, everyday thing that they share? Along with like, half of all the people in America. It pulls Oscar yet another step away from the person Ruby used to think he was. Into more normal territory.

«I _wish_ Jason Momoa was still on the show.» The words slip out before Ruby even notices. He’d been so focused on the cleaning and lost in his own head.  
«Yeah,» Oscar replies. «Me too.» His voice sounds distant, and Ruby looks up to catch him staring into space. A second later his gaze shifts to Ruby’s, and he smirks. Ruby gives him a small smile back and returns to the task at hand.

-

Soon, Oscar’s neck is covered in a clean, white bandage, and Ruby moves on to the cut through his eyebrow and the one just under his eye. Oscar’s looking down, and Ruby’s just looking. This close, he notices all sorts of things. The shape of Oscars nose, the length of his lashes, the details of his skin. He could count all the hairs in Oscar’s eyebrows with a little time. If he wanted to. Oscar’s hair is short like it always is, and Ruby wonders how often he has to shave it to keep it that way. Whether he’s ever gone a few weeks without doing it, so it started to grow in. He wonders what it would look like if Oscar let it grow out completely. If it would be just like Cesar’s, or if it would be different.

Oscar’s eyes suddenly flick up, meeting Ruby’s for a few seconds, and then he looks down at the floor again.  
«I don’t need your help, you know?» He says. Ruby blinks a few times, slowly stops what he’s doing and just looks at the man sitting in front of him, only a few inches away. Eventually Oscar looks up, looking for an answer. His face at that moment… It suddenly makes Ruby wonder how old he is. Those brown eyes in front of him, they’ve seen things, but Ruby has seen things too. This man doesn’t seem much older than himself. He looks vulnerable. He looks human. It’s almost enough to make Ruby wonder how he was ever afraid of him.  
«I know.» he replies at last, with a tiny smile. «You’re a big strong man who could do this himself, and you don’t need help from anybody. Now hold still, I’m almost done.»  
He waits until Oscar looks back down again before he resumes.

Ruby finishes cleaning the smaller cuts in what feels like no time at all, and then he covers those, too, in bandages.  
«All done?» Oscar asks, but Ruby holds out a hand. He grabs a washcloth from under the sink and wets it with warm water. He’d spotted a little bit of blood on the side of Oscars head. Almost on the back of it, behind his left ear. He gently places a hand on Oscar’s collarbone to steady himself and carefully cleans up the back of Oscar’s head, one swipe at a time. 

He steps back and drops the washcloth on the sink.  
«All done.» he says, giving Oscar a small smile.  
«…thank you.» Oscar responds after a few moments. At some point, Ruby might’ve been surprised by the quiet sincerity of it, but not after tonight. The way Oscar’s eyes are looking at him, however, is making something feel unsettled inside of him, and he’s not sure why. The thought  
_‘He’s beautiful,’_ suddenly enters Ruby’s mind. He blinks it away.  
«No problem.» He says.

-

«I should go find Cesar.» Oscar says over his shoulder as they walk through the living room towards the front door. Ruby’s heart tightens a little bit at the thought of Oscar leaving, of being left alone, but he can’t even imagine how Cesar must be feeling right now. Of course Oscar needs to go to him.  
«He’s at Monse’s.» He says, just as Oscar steps through the door. Oscar turns and waits for Ruby to follow.  
«Thank you.» He says. Ruby just nods. Oscar takes a breath and continues. «You gonna be okay alone here tonight?»  
«Oh, yeah, I’ll be fi-» Ruby automatically starts to say, before Oscar cuts him off.  
«Hey. You don’t gotta lie to me.»  
«…I don’t know.» Ruby tells him truthfully. «I’ll manage.»  
«Why don’t you go to one of your friends.»  
«I can’t, I… I don’t wanna see them.» Oscar raises an eyebrow at that, and Ruby corrects himself. «I… don’t want them to see me.»  
«Ah. The eyes, right?» Oscar says, and Ruby swears it’s like Oscar reads his mind. He nods, but his surprise must show on his face.  
«Hey, I get it.» Oscar tells him, and after a moment of hesitation, he continues. «You know where to find me.»  
Ruby recognizes it for the offer it is.

Oscar nods, turns, and starts to walk away. About three steps in, Ruby stops him.  
«Hey Oscar.» He says, before he realizes that’s the first time in a long time he’s called Oscar that to his face. «I’m glad you’re not dead.» Oscar smiles at him.  
«Me too, compa.»

-

Ruby thinks that’ll be it, and he wraps his arms around himself as he stays where he is, following Oscar with his eyes. He’s just about to disappear from view behind the neighbor’s hedge, when he looks over his shoulder. He doesn’t seem surprised to see Ruby still there, obviously watching him. Without stopping he lifts his arm in a little wave, and Ruby thinks it might be the weirdest thing he’s ever seen. Oscar looks so awkward, and he quickly shoves the hand back into his pocket. He’s gone before Ruby even has the ability to register what’s happened, let alone wave back. He’s left there, frowning and a little confused, just blinking for a few seconds. Eventually he gets up and goes back inside.

Oscar’s words are replaying inside his mind. _‘You know where to find me.’_ Somehow, in Ruby’s head, they turn into Oscar saying _‘You know me,’_ and Ruby thinks maybe that’s becoming true as well, now.

**Author's Note:**

> 1,5 feet = 45,72 cm  
> 1 inch = 2,54 cm
> 
> No estás muerto/No estoy muerto = You're not dead/I'm not dead  
> (i think. google translate is my only friend)
> 
> -
> 
> Hope u enjoyed, and please leave a comment and/or a like!  
> Constructive criticism is always welcome if you're nice about it! (honestly i'm pretty new at this and i need all the help i can get)
> 
> I already have the ideas necessary to turn this into a roughly nineteen part series, in which this will be either the third or the first installment lol, so subscribe if you think that sounds cool, and feel free to tell me what you wanna see happen next!
> 
> thank you for reading, xxx


End file.
